River's Song
by AsRiverSingsSoftly
Summary: I wanted to look at Doctor Who from River's point of view, so I wrote this story. It'll show her emotions and hopefully will have some extra scenes. I just think she has some great potential because of all the hardship she faced, so i thought i'd give it a go! :) It'll be long. It also goes by her timeline. Sorry, I'm terrible at summaries! Rated T for sexual references.
1. Let's Kill Hitler!

**Hi guys, this fic is from River's point of view and follows what I believe to be her timeline from her regeneration in Let's Kill Hitler. THERE WILL BE LOTS OF SPOILERS! Please review guys; also if it is requested enough, when the time comes for it, I will do a chapter on the Doctor and River's trip to Derillium. Each chapter of this will be the equivalent of half an episode. Enjoy the story! **

Oxygen rushed to my brain as I gulped in my first breaths of this regeneration. I shivered contentedly, beginning to notice how different things were in this body from the last one. My airways were smaller, so it took longer to catch my breath. My clothes now felt tighter in all the right places. I could tell from the weight on my head that there was plenty of hair. Everything seemed brighter, more vivid, and I was filled with excitement-so much to see and do, so much trouble to cause...but first I needed to examine this whole setup. I could have laughed at the expressions on the faces of my parents and the Doctor. He was another thing I had to deal with, but that didn't mean I couldn't have a little fun first!

"Right, let's see then!" I ran my hands down along my sides eagerly and felt a full, curvy hourglass figure. "Ooooh, it's all going on down there, isn't it?!" I then moved on to the hair. Thick, soft and strong, the ringlets were seemingly never ending in my fingers, and I ruffled them joyfully. "The hair" I gasped, running over to the mirror. "Oh, the hair! It just doesn't stop, does it?" My face was perfect; my eyes were blue green, my cheekbones high, my features very pretty and with just the right amount of attitude. My hair was fantastic, and the body, as I had felt before, wasn't too bad at all! "Look at that. Everything changes! Oh, but I love it! I love it!" Feeling confident in my new form, I turned towards the others. "I'm all sort of...mature!" I lifted my foot onto the chair and stared the Doctor straight in the eyes, re-enacting a scene from the Graduate while I sneakily picked the fallen gun from the chair behind me. "Hello, Benjamin!" He covered his face with his hand, looking utterly embarrassed and confused, and turned to Amy. "Who's Benjamin?" I heard him whisper, but both of my parents looked too shocked to do anything more than stare at me blankly. This was great fun.

I tried clicking my teeth together, finding that they fitted together perfectly. "The teeth." I looked in the mirror again, gnashing them. "The teeth! The teeth! Oh, look at them!" I ran over to the Doctor and planted myself dangerously between his legs, face to face. He looked ridiculously uncomfortable. "Watch out, that bow tie!" I giggled. I turned to Amy and Rory, practically sitting on the Doctor's lap. "Excuse me you lot, I need to weigh myself." I was halfway out the door when a confused voice said "That's River Song." I poked my head round the door. "Who's River Song?" The Doctor answered me weakly, "Spoilers." "Spoilers?" I insisted. "What spoilers? Hang on-just something I have to check!" I headed off towards the bathroom...wherever it was.

I came back after examining my body properly in a full length mirror down the hall to find the Doctor, Amy and Rory still looking rather dazed. "Oh, that's magnificent!" I cried, "I'm going to wear LOTS of jumpers!"

I did realise, however, that there was something else I had to do.

Leaning against the doorframe, I turned my attention once more to the Doctor, the biggest war criminal in the universe, and said "Well now, enough of all that. Down to business!" I whipped my gun out of my pocket and trained it on the Doctor, who didn't even flinch.

"Oh, hello," he said, "I thought we were getting married."  
"I told you," I responded, "I'm not a wedding person!"  
"Doctor, what's she doing?" Rory asked nervously.  
"What she's been programmed to."  
"Yeah, where'd she get the gun?"  
"Hello, Benjamin," the Doctor replied. So he'd seen me pick the gun from the chair, then-he was good.  
"You noticed" I said, and fired the gun repeatedly. Amy and Rory backed away sharply, but the gun was empty.  
"Of course I noticed." How had he done that?! "As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit."  
"I know you did." I whirled the gun away from me; I knew what he'd done.  
" I know you know," he said, just as I raised the second gun quickly.  
Except it wasn't a gun, it was a banana. He looked so smug I could have thrown it at him. I was supposed to kill him!  
"Goodness, is killing you going to take all day?" I asked, a waiver of impatience in my voice.  
"Why, you busy?" he retorted, snatching the fruit from me.  
"Oh, I'm not complaining," I said, and whirled around quickly, snatching a letter opener from the table behind me and throwing it at him with trained perfection.

Except I didn't, because he whipped out that damned screwdriver and sonicked it out of my hand too fast for me to throw it.

"If you were in a hurry, you could have killed me in the cornfield," the Doctor pointed out.  
"We'd only just met," I said, half kidding in a defensive voice. Truthfully, he WAS hot and I wanted to mess with him before killing him. Anyway, it would've been a bad place to do it with Amy and Rory there. I'd had my fun now though-at least in terms of messing with the Doctor.  
"I'm a psychopath," I continued, crossing to the fruit bowl while his back was turned and reaching for the gun. "I'm not rude." I fired again, only to find that this one, too, was empty. My parents screamed and ducked again, but the Doctor simply held up the chamber from the gun. He pretended to blow smoke off it.

Amy interjected, looking desperate. "You are not a psychopath!" She walked up to the Doctor, Rory hot on her heels. "Why would she be a psychopath?"  
God, this was frustrating sometimes. "Oh, mummy, mummy, pay attention! I was trained and conditioned for one purpose; I was born to kill the Doctor." This was the one thing in my life that I was certain of. It was as much a part of me, I thought, as the Timelord DNA that coursed through me.  
"Demon's Run," the Doctor said. "Remember?" The Doctor and I walked towards each other until our noses were practically touching. "This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath." He was pretty brave for someone about to die, I admired that. He had nice eyes, too. Breath-taking eyes in fact, deep and hazel. And his lips were among the softest I had ever seen. Such a pity that this pretty face would be devoid of life so soon.  
"I'm all yours, sweetie" I said, and pecked his lovely lips with a kiss of the Judas tree, a lipstick specially engineered for me to wear. This would poison him, starting to work as soon as he ingested any at all. A lick of the lips would do it.  
"Only River Song gets to call me that." There was a sorrowful edge to his voice.  
"Who's River Song?"  
"An old friend of mine." His half-smile was sad too.  
"Stupid name," I claimed, trying to insult him, punish him a little more for the lives he had taken. From what I could gather, this River Song was a little more than an "old friend".

Turning to the large window, I gasped at the sight outside. "Look at that!" I hopped up onto the window sill. "Berlin on the eve of war! A whole world about to tear itself apart." God the thought thrilled me. So much to do, so little time. "Now, that's my kinda town! Mum, dad, don't follow me. Yes, that is a warning." The last thing I wanted to disturb me was my parents hanging around.  
"No warning for me, then?" asked the Doctor.  
"No need, my love," I teased. "The deed is done...and so are you."

He began to approach me, and right on cue he doubled over in pain. My parents grabbed him, trying to figure out what was wrong.  
"What have you done?" The Doctor asked, panicked. "River!"  
This was pathetic. Twice in the past few minutes he had said that River's name, and now he was calling to her when she wasn't even here!  
"Oh River, River, River-more than a friend, I think!" I sneered, as he tried to stand up properly.  
"What have you done?" he cried, stumbling and tripping over his own feet. The poison had hit him hard.  
"It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor." I was almost sympathetic. "The man of peace-who understands every kind of warfare except perhaps the cruellest." I saw in his eyes that he had realised what I meant, and he wiped his lips with his hand, looking at it in devastation.  
"Kiss, kiss," I said, blowing him one before stepping out the window.

I landed neatly on the ground in front of a row of German soldiers, who promptly stood to attention and pointed their guns at me.  
"Hello, boys," I said, smiling cheekily. They looked at each other, frowning-my regenerating seemed to have made me better at confusing people.  
"What are you doing here?" the commanding officer asked, surprisingly calmly. I had the perfect line.  
"Well, I was on my way to this gay gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought "Gosh, the third Reich's a bit rubbish-I think I'll kill the Fuhrer."" I tilted my head to the side in invitation. "Who's with me?"

That got them going. There was anger and disgust in the officers' eyes, and the commander gave the order-"Shoot her."

So they did. All of them. It hurt quite a bit too, and I doubled over both in pain and in preparation for what was coming. I looked up at them smugly, to see that the anger in their eyes had changed to fear at the fact that I was still standing. "Tip for you all," I advised, "never shoot a girl while she's regenerating!" I threw my head back, and the regenerative energy literally knocked them all off their feet. I laughed as I took their guns. "Now that hit the spot!" Climbing onto the motorbike, I threw a few words over my shoulder. "Thanks, boys-call me!" I heard Amy behind me.  
"What are you doing?!" she asked, trying to get out of Rory's grip.  
"New body, new town" I replied, "I'm going shopping!"

I drove off without a care in the world, the feeling of accomplishment at having gotten rid of the Doctor bubbling up from my belly. I was free.


	2. Let's Kill The Doctor!

It was a very posh restaurant, which was the first thing I noticed. That's why I targeted it; the people in there would be so easy to manipulate. Much more fun that way, I wasn't in the mood for a challenge, not after the length it took to finish off the Doctor. At first, there had been a sense of satisfaction at his suffering and demise, and an even greater one at the freedom and emancipation from the Silence that came with it. Now, though, there was something else. Something at the back of my mind that said "You're wrong." It had been there since I looked in his eyes when he had fallen.

Still, there was no point in worrying now. There was no known cure for this poison. I pushed all regretful thoughts out of my mind as I walked into the restaurant, armed with two German machine guns. I fired randomly, the guns heavy in my arms. I was well used to it. The musicians stopped playing, the people hid under their dinner tables and plaster rained from the roof as I said, loudly and clearly, "Ladies and gentlemen! I don't have a thing to wear." I laughed as I pointed the guns in the general direction of the distressed diners. "Take off your clothes!"

It took a few minutes for it to sink in, but with some not-so-gentle persuasion, they began undressing uncomfortably, the women and men running and hiding in separate corners of the spacious hall, struggling for a place in the back of the group. These people seemed so determined not to let each other know that they had limbs, bodies or any sense of sexuality whatsoever, it was ridiculous. As soon as it was done, I wordlessly aimed the guns in their direction again. They screamed, dropped their clothes and fled the restaurant in their elaborate undergarments.

I stood in front of the mirror and admired the new outfit. It consisted of a strappy black top that revealed plenty of my new cleavage, something resembling jeans, a pair of black heeled boots and a fur scarf. "Now look at that," I remarked, addressing nobody in particular. "Now, that's fun. From every angle!"

Just then, Amy burst through the doors, wearing an expression unreadable to my eyes.  
"Now, dear," I said condescendingly, annoyed at having been so rudely interrupted. "I told you not to follow me." Wordlessly, she approached me. Her steps were oddly heavy, and she looked blank. "I might take the age down a little," I reflected, trying on the jacket of a soldier. "Just gradually, to freak people out."  
"You killed the Doctor," Amy said, her voice completely lacking in emotion. Had she cared that much about him, that it had taken so much out of her? Oh, well.  
"Oh yes, I know, dear, but you're not gonna keep on about it." I put on the army cap that matched the slightly-too-big jacket. "Oooh, regeneration. It's a whole new colouring to work with!"  
Amy turned to face me properly. There was something about her that wasn't quite right, almost off-putting. "You killed the Doctor," she repeated, exactly the same as last time. Except this time she continued. "On the orders of the movement known as the Silence, an academy of the question. You accept and know this to be true?" DEFINITELY not right. Also, I wouldn't quite phrase it as "on the orders of." Even if I had felt differently about the situation, I wouldn't have had a choice in the mater. I often wondered whether my hatred of the Doctor was purely a result of the torture and brainwashing I endured under Madame Kovarian's "care." My parents loved him dearly, didn't they? They were good people, this I knew to be true.  
I chose not to reply too carefully to whoever I had decided was controlling Amy. She would never ask a question like that. She wouldn't have known to. "Quite honestly, I don't really remember. It was all a bit of a jumble."

And then there was my mother, pushing the mirror away from me so she could face me properly. Her eyes were lifeless. Suddenly I was pushed back. Light blinded me; I couldn't see what was happening. I winced in pain as it burned my face and hands, and I tried to push back against it. I wasn't strong enough yet. "No, no! Get off me!" I cried, but to no avail.  
"I'm sorry," said a familiar voice, "did you say she killed the Doctor?"

The light went away immediately. I looked up to see the Doctor himself leaning against his TARDIS. He was dressed in a fancy black and white suit and a top hat. The coat had long tails, and he had a cane to lean on that appeared to finish off the outfit. I knew he needed something to lean on to keep himself up. He looked me straight in the eyes like before and said smugly "Doctor who?"

"You're dying!" I exclaimed. "And you stopped to change?!"  
He spun around and came towards Amy and myself, whirling his ridiculous cane around as he walked unsteadily down the steps from the podium. "Oh, you always waste time when you don't have any!" He claimed loudly. "Time is not the boss of you. Rule four hundred and eight." Then turning to my mother without pausing; "Amelia Pond, Judgement Death Machine. Why am I not surprised?" He lifted the cane and the top of it split open to reveal electronic parts. "Sonic cane!"  
"Are you serious?"  
"Never knowingly. Never knowingly be serious. "Rule 27, you might wanna write these down." He looked at the sonic device with a look of satisfaction-as if it mattered now. He was as good as dead. "Oh, it's a robot! With four hundred and twenty three life signs inside. A robot worked by tiny people! Love it. How did you all get in there, though? Bigger on the inside?" He inspected the readings on the sonic device. "No, basic miniaturisation sustained by a compression field. Oooh, watch what you eat, it'll get you every time!" Honestly, did he ever shut up?! "Amy, if you and Rory are ok, signal me." Evidently they did, because the top of the cane popped open again and he said "Thanking you."

Suddenly, the Doctor doubled over in agony and gave a pained groan. Scrambling clumsily from the ground, he yelled  
"I'm sorry, legs went to sleep! Just had a quick left leg power nap, I forgot I had one scheduled! Actually," he sat down on the steps in an attempt to disguise the fact that he was in pain, "better sit down. I heard the right one yawning."

This could be my last chance to get away. If the Doctor died here, right in front of me, I would surely be imprisoned in Stormcage. So I made a run for the doors.

No such luck, because that same heat that had nearly knocked me unconscious before hit me in the back of the head. I knew it was coming from the robot. I screamed in pain, it felt like my head would split open. In the distance, I heard the Doctor's voice cry "Don't you touch her; do not harm her in any way!" He sounded so angry, it was scary. I knew from the sound of it that he would come to me if only he could. The blinding light lessened, but it was still there, suspending me in mid-air.

"Why would you care?" Came the voice of the robot. "She's the woman who kills you."  
"The Doctor took off his hat and grinned triumphantly. "I'm not dead!"  
"You're dying," the robot pointed out. I wondered who was actually speaking.  
"Well, at least I'm not a time-travelling, shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturised, cross people. Which I have got to admit, I didn't see coming." The pain had started again, and it was all I could do to keep from screaming again as he asked "What do you want with her?"  
"She's Melody Pond. According to our records, the woman who kills the Doctor.  
"And I'm the Doctor, so what's it got to do with you?" There was something he wasn't saying.  
"Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetime. Time travel has…responsibilities."  
I heard the Doctor laugh at that. "What? You got yourselves time travel so you decided to punish dead people?!"  
"We don't kill them, we…extract them at the end of their established timelines.  
"And then what?"  
"Give 'em hell."  
The Doctor sucked in a deep breath. "I'd ask you who you think you are but I think the answer is pretty obvious. So who do you think I am? Hmm? The woman who kills the Doctor. It sounds like you've got my biography in there-I'd love a peek!"  
"Our records office is sealed to the public. Fore-knowledge is dangerous."  
"Yeah, well I'll be dead in three minutes, there isn't much fore-knowledge left."  
"Sorry, can't do that."

There was a long pause in which I fully realised that I couldn't see. With nothing else to concentrate on at the moment other than the pain, the thought frightened me. It crossed my mind that depending on what this was, I might never see again. That might even be getting off lightly-from the sound of things, these people were in no way forgiving.

Then the robot spoke just two surprising words; "Records available."  
I heard the Doctor struggling to his feet once more. "Question; I'm dying. Who wants me dead?"  
"The Silence."  
"What is the Silence? Why is it called that? Wha-wh…What does it mean?"  
"The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked."  
"What question?"  
"The first question. The oldest question in the universe. Hidden in plain sight."  
"Yes, but what is the question?"  
"Unknown."  
"Oh, well fat lot of good that is, you big ginge. Call yourselves the records-aaagh!"

I knew he had fallen. Probably for the last time. He kept crying out in pain. "Gingers are always the first to quit!" he managed. "Oh, I've had better, you know."

There was a moment of peace before the fires of hell closed in around me. Where the first light had been agonising, this was a thousand times worse. Every nerve in my body was on the brink of going numb with pain, but they just wouldn't do it. I screamed until my lungs almost gave out, and the world dissolved. Sights, sounds, smells, feelings, they were all gone, there was only this, and it went on for moments and it went on for years. I would have died if I could.

An eternity later, it stopped and I fell to the floor, trembling. I pulled myself up quickly, ashamed for anyone to see me in this state. I wanted to be strong.  
A voice, the Doctor's voice. "Please. " His eyes burned into me with such intensity it blazed in my heart. "Now we have to save your parents. Don't run. I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared. Rule seven." Wasn't that what I had spent my whole life doing? Being scared and feeling broken, running from the Silence?

He looked so helpless, lying on the floor, unable to get up to help the people he loved. I hoped this wasn't a mistake.  
"Please," he repeated. So weak was his voice, hoarse and grating. He lowered himself to the floor and closed his eyes as the robot started to shout. "Doctor, help us! Doctor, please!" My parents. I sat down on one of the many chairs, lost in thought. There was nothing I could do. But I didn't run.  
The Doctor opened his eyes, a movement that clearly took all of his energy. Slowly but surely, he pulled himself across to the steps, towards his TARDIS. He collapsed onto the steps and groaned in frustration. Amy was still calling him.

"Look at you" I said, amazed. "You still care."  
He ignored me, dragging himself up onto the next step with his elbows.  
My mother's voice grew more panicked. "Doctor, help us, please, help us!"  
"It's impressive, I'll give you that."  
He stretched his arm towards the TARDIS, still metres away, shaking with the effort. "River!" He said feebly, "Please!"  
I got up from the chair. "Again! Who is this River? She's got to be a woman. Am I right?"  
"Help me. Save Amy and Rory. Help me" He sounded like he was about to cry. I moved towards him. I realised that if he was calling this River all the time, it wasn't because he wanted her to be there. It was because she was there already.  
"Tell me about her. Go on."  
"Just…" his angry growl disintegrated to a whisper. "Help me. Help me." He was crying, I could see it. His shoulders shook with more than the effort it took for him to keep going. And do you know what? I was crying too. What could I do? How could I possibly save them?

Then he gave me the answer; "You are the chid of the TARDIS."

I materialised the TARDIS around them. They were holding each other close, seconds from death. They looked up and saw where they were. Amy looked confused. "Doctor?" Then she smiled. She couldn't see me, she thought he was saved. "Rory, he did it. He did it!"

Their laughter faded as I stepped out from behind the control panel, their joyous expressions turning to shock. "I seem to be able to fly her," I said meekly. "She showed me how. She taught me." That was putting it simply. In truth, some force had guided my hands and feet. It had almost been like an out-of-body experience. "The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS. What does he mean?" I needed and answer. The doctor was a time traveller, and Amy and Rory were surprised at my regeneration in more ways than one. "That's River Song," Rory had said. Could they have known me in my future? Right now, they looked scared and without hope.  
"Where is he?" asked Amy. I couldn't even answer her.

The Doctor lay on the steps like a rag doll. He was barely alive, barely breathing. What had I done? My fears had come to pass. I had been truly brainwashed. What had the Doctor ever done that I should hate him for? How many people did he save on a daily basis? He had killed his own race, but not in cold blood. It was an accident. My parents loved him, and he obviously loved them.

He knew he was dying. And I was the one who had done it. I had ended the life of the most important man in the universe. With him went millions of lives that would not be saved. I had murdered them all, simply because I was too blind and too stupid to see past the images of death and destruction that Madame Kovarian had imprinted on my brain.

He opened his eyes as my mother and father knelt over him, tears in their eyes.  
"You can't die now," Amy told him, "I know you don't die now."  
"Well, Pond," he whispered in return, "You've got a schedule for everything."  
She muttered something in return that I was too far away to hear.  
"Doctor," Rory said urgently, "What do we do? Come on! How do we help you?"  
"I'm sorry Rory, you can't." he replied. "Nobody can." _I could. _"Ponds, listen to me. I need to talk to your daughter." They nodded their heads. Rory half-dragged Amy away from the Doctor's dying body. My parents gave my teary looks and gestured for me to go, and I approached him wearily. _  
_I sat down on the step beside him. I hoped he could see how much I regretted this. The light was almost gone from his eyes now. Those eyes had seen so much. I felt something spark in me and I knew I was falling for him. Neither of us would recover from this, but it was I who would never forgive myself. His eyes were full of forgiveness.  
"Find her," he told me. "Find River Song and tell her something from me."  
"Tell her what?" I tried to be gentle as I leaned towards him to hear what he had to say. He didn't deserve any of this.  
He whispered in my ear something precious and private, and I reassured him "Well, I'm sure she knows." I managed a smile for him, to show him that I would carry his message.

And as I pulled away, I saw his eyes close softly. He was taking his last breaths. I had killed him.

I stepped away from him slowly, towards my parents, and asked them "Who's River Song?"

Amy stepped out of Rory's arms and turned to the Tesselector. "Are you still working? Because I'm still a relative. Access files on River Song."  
"Records available" answered the robot.  
"Show me her" Amy ordered, a sob in her voice. "Show me River Song."

The Tesselector appeared to pixelate. The figure reformed to show a new face, a new body. Curly blonde-brown hair. Pretty face. My eyes looking at me blankly. I was River Song. The Doctor had just been killed by the love of his life. I began to weep as Amy turned back to face me. They definitely knew me as River Song already.

I knew what I had to do. The Doctor wasn't regenerating; this was his final body. He Silence had known this. But that didn't mean I couldn't give him my remaining ones.  
"Melody?" asked my mother, "What did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for River Song. What was it?"

My hands glowed as I stepped towards the Doctor.  
"What are you doing?" Amy cried, alarmed.  
"Just tell me" I pleaded, "The Doctor. Is he worth it?"  
"Yes! Yes, he is!"

As I knelt down beside him, the Doctor opened his eyes. It was the regenerative energy healing him.  
"River" he whispered, "No. What are you doing?"  
I smiled at him. "Hello, sweetie."

It was my first kiss, and it was soft and sweet and gentle. He closed his eyes and kissed me back tenderly. The warmth radiated from our skin and illuminated the room. When it was done, I lay down beside him and fell unconscious.

I woke up in a bed that felt like silk. My parents stood over me.  
"Hey," Said Amy, smiling.  
"Hey." My throat was like sandpaper. "Where am I?"  
"You're safe now. Apparently, you used all your remaining regenerations in one go. You shouldn't have done that."  
"Mother" I retorted weakly, "I had to try."  
"I know," she said, sounding proud.  
"He said no one could save him. But he must have known I could."  
"Rule 1," came the Doctor's voice from the other side of the room. He looked sad. "The Doctor lies." I gave him a weak smile and closed my eyes.

When I woke up, there was a blank notebook, TARDIS-blue, on my bedside locker. It was tied with red ribbon.

In the year 5123, I enrolled in Luna University.  
"Why do you want to study archaeology?" asked the professor.  
"Well to be perfectly honest, professor," I replied, clutching my journal, "I'm looking for a good man."  
I was accepted.

**Sorry it's so long, next one won't be that long. Hope you enjoyed it! There were just too many emotions on her face as I rewatched the episode, I had to put them in! Please review! Thanks! xx**


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